


Treading Water

by CSIGurlie07



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, James is featured strongly but isnt a love interest, SUPERCORP!!!, established supercorp but still in Kara's early reporting career, introverted Lena is the only Lena, timeline is iffy, what he needs is more love onscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:31:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 13,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSIGurlie07/pseuds/CSIGurlie07
Summary: Kara is unable to attend a gala with Lena. Lena invites James to fill in, and jealousy ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a slight AU, as it is set in mid season 2 early in Kara's reporting career, but has established Supercorp. Starts fluffy, grows angsty as truths emerge.

* * *

 

Kara giggled as Westley tumbled down the hill, howling ‘as you wiiiiiiiiish’ all the way down. When she didn’t feel Lena laughing with her, Kara lifted her head and frowned to find Lena wearing a thousand yard stare and not an inch of interest for the movie playing in front of them. She poked her human pillow in the ribs.

“You’re the one who wanted to watch this,” Kara whined playfully, knowing full well Lena had chosen The Princess Bride in no small part because Kara had been bouncing on her toes in excitement. Lena flushed, lips spreading in a sheepish smile.

“Sorry,” she said. She turned her gaze to the tv set, and brightened when she saw they were near the Fire Swamp. Her grin soured a moment later when Kara paused it and propped herself up on one elbow to give her a hard stare. “Hey, that’s the best part!”

“I know,” Kara said sternly. “That’s why I paused it. Why aren’t you watching?”

Lena huffed, but ultimately knew better than to resist her interrogation tactics, sure to escalate to full out tickling in a moment. She sighed. “I was just thinking about the gala next week.”

Now it was Kara’s turn to cringe. She’d initially agreed to go when Lena asked, but three days ago Snapper Carr had assigned her to a story that had her out of town the night of the gala. “I’m sorry I had to bail on you. If there was any way…”

“Oh, no, I know,” Lena assured her. “It’s fine. It’s just…”

“Just…” Kara prodded.

“I RSVP’d for two and the last time I did that but showed up alone no one would shut up about it. If it wasn’t about who I would’ve brought, it was why they didn’t bother to show, did I run them off already, that sort of thing…” Lena gave her a plaintive smile. “It’s just going to be a long night, that’s all.”

“That’s awful. I’m sorry.” Kara rested her chin on Lena’s thigh. “Is there any way you can bail too?”

“Not without creating more problems than it would solve.”

“Already thought of that, huh?” Kara paused, considering their options. “Well, what if you took someone else? Do you have a friend who could fill in for me?”

Lena’s thumb, which had been tracing small patterns on Kara’s shoulder, paused at Kara’s suggestion. “I’d thought about that…”

“Yeah?”

Lena nodded. “It’s just… the only one I could think of being even remotely interested… is James Olsen.”

Kara perked up. “James?”

Lena lifted one shoulder, meeting Kara’s gaze. “I thought it might be a good way for him to meet some of the other executives in National City. It’s not exactly his field, with it being a technology symposium, but it’d get his name out there. It might even open some doors that might’ve closed when Cat Grant left town. I mean, if nothing else, he would be a familiar face.” Lena swallowed, plucking at the edge of the blanket covering her lap. “I just wasn’t sure how you’d feel about that.”

“How _I_ feel?”

“He’s your friend, and your boss. I didn’t want to put you in an awkward situation by asking--”

“I think it’s a great idea!” Kara beamed.

Lena’s eyebrow lifted. “Really?”

“Yes, of course! You guys have so much in common. You’re both young, new CEOs for major companies in National City, and you’re both crazy smart! You should _definitely_ ask him!”

Lena broke into a hesitant grin, which warmed when Kara’s enthusiasm didn’t wane. “Okay. I’ll swing by CatCo tomorrow and ask him.”

“Yay!” Kara squealed. She wormed her way up Lena’s lap to press a kiss against her lips. “This’ll be good. I promise. Now,” she declared, settling back into her cozy nest of blankets and Lena, “let’s take care of some ROUSes.”


	2. Chapter 2

James looked up at a knock on his door, and paused in surprise at the sight of Lena Luthor standing at the threshold. “Lena?”

“James, hi. Sorry to intrude-- I would have checked with your assistant, but...” Lena gestured awkwardly at his assistant’s desk, which was currently devoid of said assistant. James checked his watch, and saw that it was lunch. “I was hoping to borrow a moment of your time.”

“Yeah, come on in.” Smiling, he rose, surreptitiously stretching out the kinks in his back as he did so. He came around his desk and settled against the front edge, crossing his arms across his chest. He kept his expression friendly, but Lena seemed to read his tension regardless, and when she navigated the narrow path between coffee table and couch, she drew to a stop at a respectful distance. “What can I do for you? I think Kara is at her desk...”

“She is! She is, I just dropped off her lunch.” Lena’s eyes crinkled in a warm smile. “I’m actually here to ask a favor.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

“As you probably overhead last weekend, I’m attending the Energy and Technology Symposium Gala this week, and my date has cancelled on me.”

James did know. Kara had bemoaned the last-minute assignment the whole night. James’ arms tightened against his chest, sensing an impending confrontation. “Lena, I can’t ask a department head to alter his assignments just because--”

“What? No!” Lena cut in quickly. James paused, eyebrows lifting. “Sorry to interrupt, but no, I would never try to take an opportunity away from Kara.” She smiled again, but this time it stayed on her lips, not reaching her eyes. “I came to ask if you were interested in being my plus-one for the evening.”

James’ brain bottomed out, and he had to scramble to gather his thoughts again. “I’m sorry?”

“I know technology hasn’t been a major focus of CatCo in the past, and I’m probably the last person you’d think to spend an evening with, but I thought it might be a good way for you to meet other executives in town, and maybe make some new connections.” James struggled to find a response, and Lena rushed to fill the silence. “If nothing else, it’d be good food and free booze. You’d really be doing me a huge favor.”

“Well…” James hedged, his eyes trailing towards Kara’s desk.

Lena took another breath. “Kara gave her blessing last night. If you want to take some time to think it over, maybe discuss it with her?”

James nodded, glad for the out. “Yeah. I’d appreciate it.”

“Yeah? Okay. Great!” Lena’s fingers dipped into her coat pocket and offered him a business card. “Just give me a ring with whatever you decide.”

James accepted the card with numb fingers, brushing his thumb lightly over the embossed print of L-Corp’s logo and Lena’s information. “Yeah, no problem. I’ll give it some thought.”

“Kara can give you the details if you decide you’re interested,” Lena finished, already starting to back out of the room. “Thanks for your time.”

“Have a good one…”

James watched her leave, narrowly dodging Melinda on her way back from lunch. Biting back a grin, he looked down at the card in his hand. Lena Luthor invited him, James Olsen, to a gala. He shot a look across the bullpen, and caught Kara’s eyes peering through the break of frosted glass to spy on him. He rolled his eyes, and tilted his head to invite her over.

“So… how’d it go?” Kara chirped as soon as she stepped into his office.

“Why is Lena Luthor inviting me to an executive’s gala?” he asked her.

“Because you’re an executive,” she answered brightly. “Well, mostly because I can’t go anymore. But also because you’re an executive who’s also kinda-maybe her friend?” James gave her a hard stare. “It’s a legit offer, James. She’s not trying to lure you into her oven or anything.” 

“We haven’t ever spent any time alone together,” James pointed out.

“Well, Thursday night could change that,” Kara countered with a sigh. “I thought we were getting past the whole not-trusting-Lena thing.”

James nodded. “Getting there. Not actually there yet.”

Kara’s mouth twisted with displeasure, but she covered by continuing to speak. “Well, what about the chance to meet other executives? Wouldn’t that help open some doors for you? Cat never really showed an interest in the technology sector; it could help legitimize CatCo magazine as a serious publication, couldn’t it?”

“It could,” James conceded. 

“So, isn’t that worth trusting Lena just a little bit, for one night?”

Kara held his gaze, refusing to let him brush it all aside. He searched her features, and couldn’t find a single shred of dishonesty. Not that he ever had before. “And you’re cool with this?”

“What? Of course!” Kara’s smile shone bright as the sun. “Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve been trying to get you guys to be friends for ages!”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m  _ sure _ . I know you’re going to have so much fun together!” She froze, then dialed back sheepishly. “You know. If you decide to go.”

James sighed. She was right. More exposure to Lena Luthor via group dinners and game nights had cast her in a different light than the one James had painted her with when she first came to National City. He couldn’t say he trusted her yet-- but he couldn’t quite  _ distrust _ her either. And the connections he could network out of a gala like the Energy and Tech could lend new credibility to CatCo.

“All right,” he agreed. “I’ll give her a call.”

“Yay!” Kara danced happily in place before she flitted away, thrumming with happy energy. “This is going to be so great!”


	3. Chapter 3

“Did you know James is going to a gala tomorrow?” Winn swiveled in his seat to face Kara as she approached his terminal at the DEO. “And he didn’t even invite me.”

“That’s because he’s the plus-one, dummy,” Kara told him, spinning him back around. “He’s going with Lena to that Energy & Technology Symposium Gala on Thursday.”

“Oh! Wait, and she didn’t invite _me_? What, what am I, chopped liver?”

Kara’s nose wrinkled. “Ew.”

“The _important_ takeaway here is that Lena Luthor didn’t ask me, the resident tech geek and guru, to go to the biggest conference in the tri-state area when she had a free ticket lying around.” Winn sighed. “I thought she was going to take you, so I didn’t even bother to ask.” He paused. “Do you think she could get me an extra? I don’t even need a plus-one. Just me.”

“The gala is specifically for executives in the industry. That’s why she asked James. Now, could you please focus? Where are we on the algorithm to find those Alteans?”

“I never get to go anywhere fancy,” Winn grumbled, before shaking off his melancholy to bring up the window with the current search. “Nothing’s popped yet. It’s still working though. It’s possible we could still pick something up, but it could also be that they skipped town.”

“Well, they do tend to bounce around. They’re not usually gone for long.”

“No,” Winn agreed. “And I’ve got another program going to calculate the likely date they’ll return. That way we can reduce our sat hookup time to the days of peak probability.”

Kara’s eyes widened. “Good thinking, Winn.”

“Thanks.” A beat passed. “Isn’t it a little weird for Lena and James to be hanging out without you?”

“No,” Kara returned, eyebrows scrunching. “Why would it be?”

Winn pegged with a look. “Uhhhh, because she’s your girlfriend? And he’s your ex… ex- something. Ex-almost-something?”

“That’s not a thing.”

“Whatever. It’s weird for ex-anythings to hang out with current… things.” He winced. “You know what I mean.”

Kara shook her head, folding her arms over her chest. “No, I really don’t.”

“I mean, it’s weird that Lena would even ask. Earth customs may not be your thing, but they are definitely hers. She’s usually so careful about boundaries, you know? It’s strange that your ex would even be on the list--” Kara shifted uncomfortably, and Winn picked up on it immediately. His eyes widened. “ _Oh_. Kara, noooo….”

“What?” Kara asked.

“She doesn’t know!” Winn’s voice rose sharply, then dropped to a whisper when Kara thumped his shoulder. “Ow! You haven’t _told_ her?”

“Tell her what? James and I never became anything!”

“No, but you almost did! And you’re the one who ended it! What if he still has, I dunno, _feelings_ , or something?”

Kara threw both her hands in the air. “What does that have to do with James and Lena?! It’s just a gala, Winn, and they’re going as friends. Maybe. James isn’t even sure if he trusts Lena yet, so...”

Winn opened his mouth to continue arguing, but closed it again when he spied Alex approaching. “ _All I’m saying is, it’s bad news_ ,” Winn whispered sharply. “ _This is going to end badly, I’m telling you--_ Hey, Alex! Just in time, I just got a probability result on the Alteans’ return…”

Kara avoided the pointed stare Winn continued to give her as he briefed Alex, trying to ignore the small twinge of apprehension starting to twist her insides. Winn was just being overdramatic. It was going to be fine. She was sure of it.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kara left for her interview, she didn’t know what she’d be coming back to exactly. The night of the gala she flew in late and collapsed into her bed just in time to get a late-night text from Lena.

_ Lena: Great time tonight! I think James had fun too. Thanks again! Miss you xox _

Kara grinned into her pillow, and fell into an easy sleep feeling good. She’d been right after all. It all turned out fine. The good feeling was still there when she woke up, and lasted through breakfast right up until she collected the paper from the hall and saw the headline and cover photo.

NATIONAL CITY’S NEW POWER COUPLE

Kara gulped her mouthful of orange juice and sat frozen, eyes glued to the picture of Lena and James plastered on the front. Lena’s image drew her gaze first, her long figure stunning in a long black dress with twin trails of feathers down a sheer back, looking for all the world like an angel with her wings tucked in. Her hair was up the way Kara loved, with the tear drop earrings Kara had gifted her for her last birthday dangling from her ears. She was breathtaking, but what stole Kara’s air from her lungs was the hand on Lena’s elbow. James had reached out and touched her the moment the picture was taken, and Lena’s hand rested lightly on his bicep. 

The touch was innocent enough, but with Lena’s ruby smile looking up at James’ tall form in the most stunning tuxedo Kara had ever seen in her life, the little worm of doubt living in her brain since her talk with Winn reawakening and swelled to a the size of an anvil. She gripped the paper so tightly the ink smudged her palms, and the edges of the pages turned to pulp in her hands. 

At the DEO, Kara realized it wasn’t just the one paper. _E_ _ very _ outlet seemed to have a different photo of Lena and James on their front page with increasingly horrible headlines, but on each one they both appeared impeccable, and always, always smiling. The anvil got heavier with every new picture she saw.

“Kara! Have you seen this?” Winn called, lifting the paper he was leafing through. On it, Lena was bowed slightly with laughter, and James grinned broadly, with unfamiliar faces lingering around them, seemingly part of the conversation but utterly eclipsed by the chemistry of the focal pair. “Man, those two clean up good! Well, I suppose that’s not much of a surprise for Lena, but James? Hot damn… Hey!” he yelped when Kara snatched the paper from his hands and incinerated it with a short blast of heat vision. “Oooo-kay. What…” He paused. “Oh my god. Are you  _ jealous _ ?”

Kara opened her mouth to deny it, but hesitated when the ashes of newspaper blew lazily across her field of vision, buffeted by a draft. Winn’s eyes widened. “You are! How-- how are you jealous?? You said they went as friends!”

“They did!” Kara whined, leaning against Winn’s desk. “They did, but… I guess I didn’t expect the papers to make it so... salacious. And I certainly didn’t expect them to look… so…” She struggled to find the words.

“Attractive? Comfortable? Happy?” Winn supplied. At her glare, he leaned in close. “Well, have you heard from Lena since?”

“She sent me a text last night before bed…”

“And…?”

Kara sighed. “And she said she had fun, and that she missed me.” She sighed again, running her hands through her hair in frustration. At herself, and the papers, that Winn had been right-- everything. It wasn’t supposed to play out this way, and she didn’t  _ want _ to feel this way, but she did. “I’m being crazy, aren’t I?”

“Ahhhhh…” Winn didn’t answer her, but his expression said everything he didn’t. 

Kara sighed one last time. “I’ve got to get to CatCo. I’ll…” Kara trailed off uncertainly. She’d what? Cool it on the resentment? Talk to Lena? Talk to James? Kara’s jaw clenched, and the anvil in her stomach burrowed even further down.  _ No way. _

“I’ll see you later.”

She was out the door before Winn even realized she’d left.


	5. Chapter 5

At CatCo Kara zipped to her desk as quickly as she could without using her superspeed. James was already in, she heard him in his office from all the way down the street. She worked as quietly as she could, hoping not to draw attention to herself, but by eleven, James sought her out anyway.

“Hey, Kara, how was your trip?”

Kara’s head darted up. “Hey! Hi. Good morning. It was… The trip was great. Glad to be home though.”

James grinned at her. “Yeah, I bet. Look, I just wanted to report back and let you know that everything went great last night.”

Kara’s eyebrows flew towards her hairline, her teeth grinding together into a smile. “I know! I mean, I saw-- the papers.”

James winced. “Yeah, sorry about that.” When Kara blinked at him, he continued. “Lena explained how the press would have had a field day if she’d rolled in alone instead of with the plus-one she RSVP’d for. Turns out I didn’t help in that department after all.” He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall next to Kara’s desk. “I guess I never considered the microscope she lived under. Must be tough.”

Kara nodded. “It can be,” she allowed.

“Look, I don’t want to take up too much of your morning, but I wanted to let you know that I had a fun time last night. We made a lot of new connections, and to be honest seeing that side of her was certainly… unexpected.”

Kara’s pen creaked in her hand. “Oh?”

“I _may_ have been wrong to paint her with the same brush I do Lex.”

At this, Kara brightened. “You’re saying I was right?”

James gave her a look. “You’ve been right every time Lena’s name’s been cleared. But you being right is different from me being wrong, and…” He trailed off, considering his words carefully. “This is me saying I was wrong about her.”

Kara nodded slowly. “What-- what was it that changed your mind?”

James shrugged. “I don’t know if it was any one thing. The way she can work a room is mindblowing. And she's a good CEO. Everyone was impressed by how quickly L-Corp has turned around in the stocks. I always thought she’d have been the one to ask for the position, but apparently it was the board’s decision to tap her for CEO after Lex was sentenced. But honestly, I think it was the way she stood up for you.”

Kara choked on air, and coughed quickly to clear it. “I’m sorry?”

“Well, _apparently_ people have come to recognize you. They were asking about where you might have slunk off too, and Lena bragged all night about the interview you were doing for CatCo. And when talk turned to Supergirl, well… I think someone might have made an impression on her. I don’t think her pro-alien stances she’s made publicly are for show. I don’t agree with all of her positions, but the little we discussed about it, she had clear, logical arguments, and I can see how someone who isn’t knee deep in all this stuff could see it the way she does.”

Kara smiled. Whether it was her origins as a Luthor, or simply her disconnect from the large alien population in National City, Lena was never quick to jump to conclusions about any alien opinion. In their time together, Lena had grown more conscious that while some aliens may not be trustworthy, there were humans who were equally so-- and that certain policies could be twisted to abuse the very system it was trying to protect. Either way, however, Lena was unerringly articulate, cool and collected at every turn.

“Look, I want to let you know that I invited Lena to coffee. Just to share shop talk. You were right about having someone in the same CEO boat. It’s been lonely at the top-- it’s nice to have someone to talk to who gets it, without have to worry about competing markets.” James met Kara’s gaze with a solemn one of his own. “If that’s okay with you,” he amended. “If it’s too weird, I get it--”

“It’s not weird,” Kara’s mouth said while her brain screamed _NO_. “You should totally have coffee! That’s great!”

The smile James shot was wide and genuine. Guilt gnawed at her for the lie, but when she opened her mouth to correct it, she said, “Sorry, I have to get back to work, or Snapper will have my head for lunch.”

“Right, of course.” James pushed off the wall, still smiling. “I’ll catch you later.”

“I’m glad you had fun!” she told his departing back. He waved over his shoulder, just as Kara’s attention was pulled by the buzzing of her cell phone rattling on the desk.

_Lena: Good morning! How’s the jetlag?”_

_Kara: Could be worse._

_Lena: We still on for lunch today?_

Kara blinked. Her fingers paused on the screen. She wanted to see Lena. _Rao_ , she did, but she knew that her act with James wouldn’t fly with Lena. Lena knew her too well, and Kara never could act convincingly around her. If she saw Lena, it would all come pouring out-- and if Lena were even half as excited to make a friend out of a fellow executive as James was… Kara couldn’t do that. Not to Lena.

_Kara: Actually… rain check?_

_Lena: Post-trip avalanche of work, huh? No worries._

_Lena: James invited me to coffee next week, to talk shop. Guess you were right about needing a friendly executive face to talk to._

_Kara: That’s great!_

_Kara: Sorry, gotta get back to work!_

Kara finished with a heart emoji in lieu of actual words, and then slammed her phone into a drawer and locked it tight. Lying again. It’s fine, she told herself. She just needed time to cool off, get her head on straight. That was all it was.

She repeated it to herself again and again, until she almost believed it.


	6. Chapter 6

Kara was able to extend her work excuse through dinner that night, and won a reprieve Saturday morning when an L-Corp merger went sideways, consuming Lena’s weekend. Kara took advantage of it by putting in overtime at CatCo and throwing herself into any altercation she could as Supergirl. Lena still checked in by text every so often, and Kara was always careful to reply quickly. She wasn’t ignoring Lena, at all. But when Monday dawned calm and clear, Lena asked to see her for lunch.

_ Lena: I can’t get away from the office for long, but even a trip to the food cart downstairs would be worth it. Can’t wait to hear all about your trip! _

Tears burned against Kara’s eyelids. The major newspapers had lost interest in the gala over the weekend, so now it was only the tabloids still splashing Lena’s face over their covers, or James’. Or both of their faces. That picture with hands on arms and smiles on faces, the one that felt like an Altean kick to the gut every time she saw it.

“Danvers!” Snapper barked. Kara scurried to his office, bracing herself for whatever outrage was headed her way today. “Your article from Thursday is passable. It’ll feature in this week’s editorial.” He glared at her. “What story do you want?”

Kara blinked. “The alien gang war in the east ward?”

“Try again,” Snapper growled.

Kara almost,  _ almost _ smiled. “The protestors of the pro-alien clinic uptown claim to have new leadership. I could check it out, see if there’s anything to it.”

Snapper considered it. “Better. Report back by 2pm. Don’t waste your time or mine.”

“Yes, sir!”

_ Kara: Sorry, Snapper has me across town all day. Probably won’t make it back until late. _

It was a long minute before Lena texted back. 

_ Lena: Okay. _

_ Lena: I’ll wait to hear from you, then. _

Kara tucked her phone back in her pocket and started to gather her things for the trip uptown, all the while pretending she imagined the disappointment in Lena’s texts. 

Lena was true to her word. She didn’t reach out again until Kara shot off a quick message the next morning confirming that the story she’d scouted at the clinic was indeed a story, meaning she was there again, all day. And possibly into the night. Around noon her second day at the clinic, Kara’s phone buzzed.

_ Lena: Is everything okay? _

Kara’s breath hitched painfully in her chest. 

_ Kara: Yeah! Totally! Just *super* busy. _

_ Kara: Snapper liked my article from last week. Just want to keep up the good work! _

As soon as she sent it, Kara cringed.  _ Rao. _ What was the matter with her? 

She never had to force herself to answer, because Lena didn’t text again.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning, James called her out the moment she stepped out of the elevator. He waved her into his office, and gave his assistant a look that Kara recognized from her days working under Cat Grant.  _ No interruptions. _

Kara gulped. 

“What’s going on?” James asked, as soon as they stepped onto the balcony.

Kara adjusted her glasses nervously. “I’m pretty sure I’m the one who’s supposed to ask that, considering you called  _ me _ \--”

“Lena just cancelled her coffee meeting with me,” James informed her. 

Kara’s eyebrows shot up. “R-really? What did she say?”

“That she was too busy.”

“Oh,” Kara scoffed, forcing a grin. “That happens all the time…”

James leaned back, tilting his chin at an angle that said she wasn’t fooling him for a second. “Yeah, executives are busy, I get that. But when I offered to reschedule, she said she’d have her assistant give me a call.”

“Jess is  _ great _ . You’ll like her--”

“You know, Kara, I may not be as well versed in corporate politics as Lena Luthor, but I’ve been doing this long enough now that I know a dodge when I hear it.” He pegged her with a hard look. “Do you have any idea why she’s suddenly giving me the brush-off? Has she said  _ anything... _ ?” 

Kara shifted nervously in place, brushing her hair off her shoulder. “Ah… No, I-- well…”

“Kara, did  _ you  _ say something about it?” James’ brow furrowed in disbelief.

“What? No! Not-- Not at  _ all _ ! I haven’t even seen Lena since the gala--”

“Whoa,” James cut her off. “What? Why?”

Kara huffed a laugh she didn’t feel. “We’ve both been really busy. Me with this new lead, and this merger thing for L-Corp…”

“Because look, if this has anything to do with us almost dating, I--”

“What? No! No, not-- Lena doesn’t even know about that. I’m sure it’s just--”

Kara froze when James’ gaze hardened in shock. Her mind raced through all she’d said, and her heart dropped when the truth hit home. “James, I--”

“She doesn’t  _ know _ ?”

A flush heated Kara’s cheeks. Her legs ached to launch her into the sky and escape the conversation. She remained firmly rooted, grounded by James and the hurt in his eyes. Tears sprang to her eyes when his lips curled in a mirthless smile.

“God… I knew it. I  _ knew _ it was weird for her to invite me. Jesus, Kara. You haven’t  _ told _ her?”

“What’s there to tell? Nothing came of it. We’re just friends!”

“We  _ kissed, _ Kara! Whether or not we actually got around to dating, we have history!” James scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “ _ I should’ve asked. _ I should have, but I figured it wasn’t my business, that it would have been one of the first things you told each other.”

Kara bristled, feeling defensive. “What-- do you think we just-- Girls don’t just sit around talking about boys all the time, you know--”

“I’m not talk about girls, Kara. I’m talking about  _ partners,” _ he emphasized, gesturing sharply. “I’d expect one partner to share our history when the other asks to invite me to a formal event.” He rubbed his neck, as though working away a sudden ache. “God, what if I had mentioned it, and she didn’t know?"

Kara’s gaze dropped to her shoes, a sudden lump strangling any response she might have had-- which she didn’t. The horrible feeling she’d been dodging all week finally found her, and her breath suddenly felt like molasses. She was saved by the call of emergency sirens, vibrating loud enough to rattle her teeth. James heard it, and sighed.

“Go,” he allowed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “But whatever’s going on with you two, work it out before you drag me back into it.”


	8. Chapter 8

Kara flew into her apartment the next evening to the sound of someone pounding on her door. She froze in alarm, heart clenching when she recognized Lena through the metal door. She changed with super speed and whooshed to open the door before the next round of pounding could start. Lena jumped at her sudden appearance, quickly bringing her raised fist back down to her side.

“Lena!” Kara chirped with false brightness. “I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”

“Yes, well…” Lena cleared her throat, dropping her gaze to the keys in her hand, visibly uncomfortable. She looked back up again, a new tension replacing the hurt Kara glimpsed a second earlier. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here if I called first.”

“What does that mean?”

Lena’s head tilted. “So you _haven’t_ been avoiding me all week.”

Kara opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out. The lies wouldn’t come. Not with Lena in front of her, hurt and realization descending on her features when her suspicions were confirmed in the silence. Lena took a deep breath. “May I come in?”

“Yeah! Yes, of course.” She stood aside, opening the door wider to admit her before closing it tight behind Lena. Offers of drink or snacks bubbled up, but died on her lips when she saw the apprehension in Lena’s stiff movements. “Let’s sit.”

She led the way to the sofa and cleared away the pillows and blankets that had gathered there over weeks of movies and episodes and quiet cuddle sessions. Tonight wasn’t about any of that. Lena trailed behind her, her motions tight but deliberate. Kara recognized the signs that she’d prepared something to say, and sure enough, as soon as they settled on the cushions, Lena started to speak.

“I cancelled coffee with James. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.” Lena’s long fingers pressed together, shivering with nervous energy. “I _knew_ I shouldn’t have mentioned the idea of taking him to the gala, but when I did you seemed so enthusiastic--”

“I was!” Kara cut in. “God, it was such a good idea, and you guys had so much fun!”

Lena’s brow scrunched in confusion. “Then what is it? Because before the gala we’re absolutely fine, and after the gala you can barely text more than a few words to me at a time. And I’m sorry if I’m reading too much into it, maybe you really were just busy, but it didn’t _feel_ like it was. And I can’t stand the thought of whatever is bothering you being something I did.”

Kara sucked in a ragged breath, chest tight with sudden emotion. In the face of the anguish playing out over Lena’s features, the negativity that had driven Kara to keep her distance seemed so petty. Tears gathered in Kara’s eyes, threatening to spill.

“It-- It wasn’t you,” she confessed. “It was me. All of it.”

“I don’t understand…”

“When I got back from my trip, all the papers were showing you and James as the new it couple, and I just… You were so beautiful, and James was so handsome, and you were having such a great time it all looked so natural. And it-- it made me feel… insignificant.

“And I know,” she rushed to continue, when Lena’s lips parted to respond, “that there was nothing to it. I never actually thought anything happened, but I still felt awful, and I knew if I saw you it would all just come spilling out and I didn’t want it to ruin whatever connection you made with James, I didn’t want to be _that_ girlfriend… So I did everything I could to give myself enough time to get over it. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it, I should have told you the truth from the start, and I am so, so sorry.”

When she stopped, Lena sat frozen, eyes wide. “I’m sorry,” Kara repeated. Her shoulders slumped, the last of her energy evaporating into the ether of emotional turmoil. She focused her eyes solely on her hands clasped in her lap.

“You--” Lena’s voice cracked. “You were _jealous_?”

Kara risked a glance, and relief rippled over her to find a small smile quirking her the corners of her mouth upwards. Kara huffed a watery laugh. “Kinda stupid, huh?”

Now Lena’s smile bloomed into a full grin. “No,” she disagreed. “Of course not. Whatever you feel is valid, Kara. I’m just sorry you didn’t feel you could share this with me.” She leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, boneless as the tension bled from her. “Did you actually read any of the articles?”

Kara blinked. “What? No! I could barely look at the front page!”

“None of them actually referenced James and I as a couple,” Lena said. “I made it perfectly clear that he was your stand-in.”

“Buh--but they… They called you a power couple!”

Lena grimaced. “I think that was supposed to be a pun,” she said. “Because of the whole Energy Symposium thing…”

Kara froze, then laughed suddenly. “Oh god…”

Lena chuckled. “Not a very good one, I have to say.”

“I feel like such an idiot,” Kara groaned, flopping back onto the cushion behind her.

“Please, don’t. It’s not the first time the press has created complications in a relationship.” Her brow furrowed. “Did it really bother you that much?”

“I don’t know,” Kara groaned. “It might have been more than that. The trip was so stressful, and then to come back and be hit with that first thing in the morning, and with you being so amazing, and my thing with James, and trying so hard to not feel awful about everything, it just tore me to pieces…”

“What thing with James?”

Kara’s body jerked, the tension snapping back into place. Her eyes flew to Lena, watched emotions play across her features at a rapid-fire pace. Her bewilderment fractured into shock a heartbeat later, when the pieces fell into place. Her brows lifted, a silent gasp filling her lips.

“Oh.” Lena faced forward, turning away from Kara and dropping her gaze to her hands, which rubbed stiffly together between her knees. She took a short, tight breath. “ _Wow_.”

“Lena…” Kara reached for her, but Lena rose to her feet out of range.

“I should go.” She gathered her things in stiff jerking movements. Lena moved for the door, and Kara scrambled off the couch after her.

“Lena, please let me explain! It wasn’t like that--” She reached for Lena's arm, only to have it pulled roughly out of reach.

“Don’t!” Lena’s voice lifted sharply. “Just-- don’t.”

“Lena, it was nothing. We never actually dated, I didn’t think--”

“Yes, you did, Kara,” Lena fired back, whirling to face her. Lena stared at her, hurt and anger warring for precedence as she stared at Kara, breaths short and jagged. “You did _think_. You just didn’t trust me.”

Kara froze, mouth open, unable to say anything in the face of the raw hurt looking back at her. A moment later, Lena straightened, lips thinned into a bitter line, angry tears glittering in her eyes. “You let me stew for a week. You let me sit and agonize over what I did wrong, when all along it was you-- you and a history with James you didn’t tell me about.”

“It--” Kara gasped, a lump hard in her throat. “It wasn’t--”

“Don’t try to contact me.”

“Lena, wait--!”

Her only response was the sight of Lena’s back and the slam of the door closing behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex Danvers took pride in knowing her sister. Her quirks and insecurities, the micro-expressions she didn’t even know she had. It took less than a day of stilted texting and foggy voices over the comms for Alex to know something big had happened-- something bad. She gave Kara another day to either deal or come to her, but as always, it didn’t happen. So armed with a pizza and a double order of potstickers, she knocked once before letting herself into Kara’s apartment.

“Okay, whats going on?” She asked the blanketed lump hiding on the couch. Kara muttered something indecipherable. Alex deposited her armful of food on the coffee table. A second later a miserable head poked out of the lump, revealing a red face and tear-streaked cheeks. _Uh oh._

“Are those pizza and potstickers?” Kara asked blearily.

“They’re for _after_ you tell me what the heck is going on,” Alex warned. She was not above using food as a bargaining chip. Kara’s head disappeared with an unintelligible grumble. Alex sighed, propping her fists on her hips. “I know you’re not talking to Lena.”

Kara bolted upright, scraping hair out of her face. “You saw her? Did she talk to you? What-- what did she say?”

“No, no, and nothing,” Alex fired back. She reached down and tapped Kara’s knee. “Scootch.”

Kara obliged, squirming aside to give Alex room to sit next to her. “Then how did you…”

“You just told me.” Alex gave her sister a smile. “Now, _what_ is going on with you two? Last week everything seemed fine…”

Kara tearfully told her everything. It all came tumbling out, one thing on top of another. The gala, James, Winn, the headlines-- _everything._ When Kara finished with the final fight between her and Lena, Alex had to take a moment to process it all.

“Please say something,” Kara whispered, fingers twisting the blanket in her lap.

Alex blinked. “Wow…”

“Say anything but that, please,” Kara flinched. She wiped furiously at her eyes. “Lena’s overreacting, right?”

Alex offered her a thin smile. “Not this time, kiddo.” Kara's face fell. “Lena has every reason to be upset. She did all the right things: she discussed the invite with you first, then gave James time to check in with you before he made a decision. And when she sensed something was wrong she did what she could to fix it."

Kara’s gaze flickered away, looking anywhere but at her. “James and I were never anything official … I didn’t even think about it until Winn mentioned it. And it turned out fine! They had fun together at the gala!”

“Kara, everything may have turned out okay at the gala, but it was under false pretenses. You and James didn’t become anything official but you definitely have history. And the fact that James thought Lena knew when she didn’t meant they were both short on the details-- details you should have given them. James is a good guy-- a _really_ good guy. If he’d mentioned your history, it would have crushed Lena, and he would have felt responsible for that. And that’s not fair.”

Kara wiped her eyes. “But… we weren’t _anything_ ,” she repeated, but the words sounded hollow.

Alex took a breath to continue, but hesitated. Kara noticed immediately. "What?"

“It kind of sounds like you didn’t really intend to tell Lena about you and James at all. That it came out as an accident.” Kara’s gaze dropped, and Alex knew she hit the mark. “You _know_ Lena picked up on that. She is so tuned in to you, she notices _everything_ …”

Alex stopped when fresh tears gathered in Kara’s eyes and started to fall. When her face started to crumple, Alex reached over and wrapped her in a tight hug. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“No it isn’t!” Kara sobbed into her shoulder. “I ruined everything. She-- Lena’s so _good_ , and I _hurt_ her. I didn’t mean to hurt her, I swear!”

“I know,” Alex assured her, rubbing soft circles against her back. “I know.” She let Kara cry it out, not releasing her until she drew back of her own accord. Their remained fingers laced together, and Kara gripped Alex's hand tightly while she dried her eyes with a corner of the blanket.

“How do I fix this, Alex? Lena told me not to contact her.”

“Lena really likes you,” Alex told her. “That’s probably why it hurt so much. Hey, look at me, okay?” Kara turned back to face her. “Fights like this happen. What happened was wrong but it doesn’t have to be the end of everything, if you don’t let it. You guys can come back from this.”

“How?”

Alex gave her hand a squeeze, and smiled when Kara returned it with a squeeze of her own. “You give her time. Let her process how she feels, and if she doesn’t contact you in a week, then reach out. Ask to talk.”

“And if she doesn’t want to?”

“Then give it another couple of days. She’ll know you want to try and fix things.” Kara sighed. “And if she still doesn’t reach out, then visit her at work. _Not_ during work hours,” she amended quickly. “But somewhere she’s in control.”

Kara sniffled, shifting until she could rest her head on Alex’s shoulder. “And if she still wants to kick me out?”

“Then,” Alex breathed, “you have to be prepared to love her enough to let her go. Trying to force her into forgiving you will only make things worse.” She pressed a kiss to Kara’s hair. “For what it’s worth-- I don’t think she’ll kick you out. She _really_ likes you.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah,” Alex chuckled. “It’s so sweet it’s a little sickening.”

Alex felt Kara grin against her shoulder, but it disappeared in less than a heartbeat. “Sometimes I don’t know what she sees in me.”

Alex stilled, her brow furrowing. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, she’s gorgeous. And smart. And she runs one of the most respected companies in the world. She has so much confidence, she just-- she shines so bright I feel dull in comparison.”

“Kara,” Alex started, choosing her words very carefully. “You’re _Supergirl._ You’re the most amazing person I know.”

“But not with Lena. With Lena, I’m just Kara Danvers, struggling reporter who can’t get a thousand word article published without a billion rewrites. Kara Danvers doesn’t hold a candle to Lena Luthor.”

Alex took a deep breath. For once, she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t have the burden of a double life. She didn’t have to hide her true work from her partner. Maybe that was what had ballooned such a simple mistake into something that had Kara crying on the couch for two days. If Lena reacted like this to a history of _almost_ with James, what would she think when she learned the truth of Supergirl’s identity?

“Maybe you should tell Lena how you feel,” Alex said finally. Kara hummed noncommittally. “Just think about it, okay? And whatever happens… respect her choices. Whatever they are.”

They sat in silence as the pizza and potstickers cooled on the coffee table and the sun went down over National City. For once, no sirens wailed, and no emergency calls came in to shatter the moment. It was just the two of them, Alex and Kara, cuddled together like they used to back in Midvale.

“I love you, Alex.”

Alex smiled, lips tickled by Kara’s hair. “Love you too.”


	10. Chapter 10

Kara followed Alex’s advice, and waited almost a week before texting Lena. Her request to talk was answered by only two words:  _Not tonight._

It wasn’t quite a door slammed in Kara’s face, but Lena made no move to open the door any wider over the next few days. On the third night of no further response from Lena, Kara swallowed her nerves and quietly made her way up to the executive floor of the L-Corp building, where she found Lena’s assistant still hard at work despite the late hour.

Normally, Kara breezed past Jess with a nod and sly coffee slipped onto the corner of her desk. Tonight, though, Kara drew to a stop in front of Jess, her jacket tucked over her arms like a shield.

“Hi, Jess,” she greeted, her voice low. Jess’ gaze flickered towards her but her fingers didn’t stop tapping against the keyboard. “Is, ah-- Is Lena in?”

Jess finally stopped typing, and faced Kara directly, lips pressed into an unhappy line. “Miss Luthor is very busy.”

Kara nodded. “I figured.” She paused, chewing her lip. “Is it a real busy, or an avoid-Kara busy?”

If Jess was amused by her question, she didn’t show it. “She hasn’t eaten lunch in a week.”

Kara bit back a sigh. Lena only missed meals when she was busy or upset. Busy meant a lunch missed here or there. A full week of no lunches was far more sinister. “I’m here to try and make it right, Jess.”

For a long moment, Jess looked her up and down, as though judging her veracity. Finally, she got to her feet. “I’m going to the bathroom,” she announced, smoothing her skirt. A tiny glimmer of hope flickered to life in Kara’s chest, and she offered a small smile of thanks.

“And Miss Danvers?” Kara met her gaze. “Don’t blow it.”

Kara nodded, and waited until Jess was making her way down the hall before crossing the final distance to Lena’s door. Lifting her hand to knock, she hesitated just long enough to take a steadying breath before rapping twice and opening the door. Lena sat at her desk, papers spread before her in some kind of chaotic order that only Lena could decipher. When she lifted her gaze to identify the intruder, her features were heavy, brows even in an inexpressive line. She barely met Kara’s gaze before returning her gaze to the report in her hands.

“I’m going to have have to remind Jess the meaning of 'no visitors'.”

Kara gulped. “I didn’t see Jess out there. I thought she’d gone home. Guess she must have been in the bathroom.”

Lena didn’t look up, not even when Kara drifted towards her desk. “It’s late, Kara.”

Kara nodded, swallowing the urge to apologize. She hitched the strap of her purse higher on her shoulder. “I was hoping we could talk.”

Lena didn’t respond, instead picking up a pen and circling a large section of the densely worded paper on her blotter. Kara pressed her lips tight, fighting back tears. “Lena, please don’t shut me out.”

“So it’s only okay if you do it?”

Green eyes skewered Kara in place, and she ducked her chin. She pulled in one deep breath, then another. Her eyes burned, and a lump swelled in her throat, threatening to strangle her. She heard a sigh, and then a soft click as Lena keyed a button on her desk phone. “Jess?”

“Yes, Miss Luthor?” Jess answered immediately. Kara looked up from under her lashes to find Lena lifting a skeptic eyebrow at her as if to ask, _bathroom break?_

“Go home,” Lena instructed.

“Yes, Miss Luthor.” The intercom clicked off, and through the walls Kara heard Jess starting to gather her things. Lena didn’t move to follow suit, and belatedly Kara realized she’d been granted her wish-- they were going to talk. Finally.

Kara straightened up, jaw still clenched with nerves. “Can I sit?”

Lena’s only response was a shrug of her eyebrows, so Kara settled stiffly into one of the visitor chairs. Lena leaned back in her seat, but it wasn’t the recline of familiarity Kara had grown accustomed to seeing when visiting Lena. It was a queen owning her throne, and the hard, neutral expression Lena wore only furthered that impression. The distance between them yawned like a chasm. Lena made no move to speak, and Kara realized the move was still hers. And she had to make it count.

“I handled everything all wrong. _I_ was wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you.” Lena’s expression didn’t waver for a second, and Kara’s tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. If this was what Lena’s competitors had to face in every meeting, Kara had new sympathy for them.

“I should have told you about my history with James a long time ago.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Kara inhaled sharply. “I don’t know. I didn’t even think about it until Winn mentioned it. But I should have told you then, and I--” She cut herself off. “I didn’t. Lena, you-- you’re so amazing.”

Lena drew back, eyes rolling with impatience, and Kara scrambled to explain. “I’m not just saying that to flatter you, I swear! I mean it. You’re so beautiful, and you’re so confident and powerful… Not just because you run your own company. When you speak, people _listen_. When you want something to happen, it happens, for better or worse, and there are days-- a _lot_ of days-- where I don’t know what you see in me.”

Kara couldn’t bear to make eye contact, focusing instead on the strap of her purse, which she worried at with her fingers. “I know what people say about me at CatCo. They think that Cat Grant handed me my dream job; that I didn’t have to earn it like everyone else. And I know what little print I’ve actually gotten through is the result of my friendship with you. That’s why I was so excited for the interview out of town. I was really standing on my own two feet, and I finally had the chance to prove that I had something special to offer.”

She wiped her eyes, then her nose, trying to clear it. At the edge of her vision, a box of tissues appeared. Kara took one, but it did little to staunch the sudden flood. “And then I got back and all anyone could talk about was how great you looked, how much fun you two had, and I thought if I told you the truth-- I thought if you knew I had turned James away, you would think less of me.”

Silence stretched long after her words-- or maybe she just imagined it. Kara tugged another tissue free of the box in front of her, and cleared her nose. When she could breathe again, she realized that she felt lighter than she had in days. She finally looked up to meet Lena’s gaze, and the impassive face from before had softened into something far more familiar. Concern looked back at her from glistening eyes, and Lena’s lips parted like she was about to speak, but couldn’t. Finally, Lena swallowed, blinking away the moisture in her eyes as she leaned forward, resting her arms on her desk.

“This isn’t easy for me, Kara.”

Kara sniffled, scrubbing at the last dampness on her lashes. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, this is _hard_ . All of _this…”_ she gestured around the room. “I never wanted to be CEO. It was never part of my plan to run this company, let alone lead it in such a new direction. I was supposed to be hip-deep in experimental technology leading R &D under Lex, not… poring over budget reports and meeting investors day in and day out. It’s _exhausting_.

“I spend more time in this office than any human has the right to, and every person who walks in that door wants something from me. Whether or not they get what they came for, when they leave they take little pieces of me with them until at the end of the day it feels like I have nothing left.”

Kara looked at her, _really_ looked at her for the first time that night, and suddenly… she could see it. The chair looked too big around her and her shoulders slumped like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. Had Lena been hiding this all along? Or had Kara simply not seen it?

“I had no idea,” she said, her voice little more than a croak. “You always make it look so easy.”

“Because part of this job is making it look effortless. If I slip for even a second they’ll eat me alive, and everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve done to change L-Corp for the better will have been for nothing.”

Lena twisted her pen in her fingers, and for a moment she let her gaze drop, studying it as she continued. “The reason I like spending time with you is because when I’m with you, I don’t feel like I’m draining. I feel… _lighter_. Like instead of losing myself I’m getting a little bit of it back.”

She set the pen down, and leveled a calm look at Kara. “To give up even a fraction of what little I have left at the end of the day in order to reach out to James Olsen, only to have it blow up in my face because you weren’t honest with me…”

“I didn’t mean for any of that--”

“Maybe not. But it happened, Kara. You lied about being okay with me inviting James, and you lied by omission about why.” Lena shrugged. “It’s good to know that it wasn’t because of something I did, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I don't care about whatever you and James had. I care that you let me walk into that situation without knowing the truth. And I honestly don’t know what to do.”

Kara knew what she wanted to happen. She wanted Lena to forgive her, for things to go back to the way they were. Barry could visit and tell them how he managed to time travel, and they could rewind the clock so that they could do it over, and Kara could make all the right decisions. None of that would happen. Lena might forgive her, but not tonight. Now that the truth was laid bare, and all of Kara’s insecurities said aloud, she felt empty. She’d said what she needed to, and Lena had heard. That was all she could ask for tonight.

“I should probably go,” she whispered. “It’s getting late, and you have work--”

“I’ve been staring at the same three reports all day,” Lena confessed. “I went cross-eyed an hour ago.”

They both rose, and Kara lingered while Lena tidied her desk and packed her laptop into her briefcase. Kara waffled between leaving and inviting Lena back to her apartment. The decision was made for her a moment later.

“Come home with me tonight,” Lena offered in a low voice. She clipped her bag shut, and lifted her head to meet Kara’s surprised glance. “Not to… Just to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow.” The offer was so unexpected that Kara’s quick yes caught on her lips and stuck there. “I don’t want to be alone tonight,” Lena finished, the confession soft on her lips.

Kara nodded quickly. “Y-es.” Her voice cracked. “Yeah, of course.”


	11. Chapter 11

They rode down the elevator together in silence, and though they stood shoulder to shoulder at the curb waiting for Lena’s town car, they didn’t speak. Lena continued to browse through the emails coming through on her phone, and Kara was grateful just to stand there with her. Lena tucked her phone away before climbing into the car, but didn’t offer any conversation. Kara tried not to stare, acutely aware of the forced proximity of the inside of a car. So she settled for stolen glances, and every time she looked, Lena’s attention remained unfocused as she stared at the street lights passing by.

Kara didn’t notice they were moving away from downtown until the streetlights grew farther apart, and the warm light of the city at night gave way to carefully manicured trees and grassy curbs. When the town car pulled to a stop in front of a modest five story building, Kara was certain Lena was playing some sort of trick. Lena Luthor lived in a high rise at the heart of National City… didn’t she? But Lena climbed out and led the way inside. Despite the brownstone facing outside, the lobby inside was as crisp as L-Corp’s. Lena stopped by the front desk, manned by a single security guard.

“Hello, Miss Luthor,” he greeted, rising to give her a smile. “Having a good evening?”

“As always, Mr. Young.” Lena accepted the clipboard he handed her, looping graceful letters onto a list. Kara used the distraction to subtly tip her glasses down to scan the lobby, and barely contained her gasp of surprise when she spotted six cameras and heavy metal plates under the plaster. Beyond the walls, she spotted two security guards posted discreetly out front.

“Kara.” Lena’s voice brought her back around, and she found both of them looking at her expectantly. “Mr. Young will need your ID.”

“Really?” she asked, even as fumbled through her bag for her wallet.

“I’m not the only high profile resident,” Lena explained. “It’s as much for their protection as it is ours.”

“You’ll be able to collect it anytime you want to leave, ma’am,” Mr. Young assured her as he accepted her license. His eyes bounced momentarily between her face and her photo, and read the details listed under her name. “Thank you very much. We’ll keep it secure for you.”

Kara offered him a thin smile, then followed Lena towards the unassuming elevator at the back of the lobby. Once inside, the car didn’t move until Lena pressed her thumb against the button for the fifth floor. A beat passed, and then the button turned green.

“A fingerprint scanner?” Kara looked to Lena, who gave a single nod.

“I apologize for the photo ID thing,” she said. “It’s one of the reasons I don’t usually have guests.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I don’t mind at all, really.” The doors opened, revealing a short atrium that terminated in a locked door with an unnecessary number 5 marked in tarnished brass. Lena unlocked the door, and stepped in to let Kara make her way inside before closing and locking the door behind them. She flipped a switch, and the room came to life in a wash of muted browns and creams.

“Whoa…” Kara exhaled. “This is…”

“Not what you expected?” There was almost humor in Lena’s voice.

“Understatement,” Kara confessed, turning in a circle to take in the open floor plan. It was almost crowded, compared to the spartan minimalist feel of her office, but it was… cozy. From the fabric sofa with clawed wooden feet to the mosaic vases, the warm wooden floors and-- she turned a bit too far and caught sight of Lena again, standing just inside the door with her arms folded across her middle, waiting for Kara to complete her survey. Her expression was impossible to read, but Kara didn’t think she looked impatient. Lena had brought her here, to a place she rarely, if ever, brought anyone. Kara didn't know if that meant she should make it a big deal, or not.

“It’s amazing,” Kara told her. “And lovely.” Her eyes began to stray again, and noticed that no two light fixtures in sight were the same. Nothing seemed to match in the entire apartment, but somehow it all felt like it belonged. Even the bar stools tucked against the kitchen island beyond seemed at home. “Is it art nouveau?”

Lena lifted a shoulder. “I have no idea. When I was at boarding school I visited the home of a local girl, that looked a lot like this. It was the first time I’d ever felt comfortable in a home. Now, every time I move I try to recreate it.” She gave a wan smile. “Never can get it just right.”

She let Kara stare a moment longer, then tilted her head towards an open door to her left. “Bedroom’s this way.”

The bedroom looked just like the main area did-- large and spacious, but crowded with large bulky pieces rich in life and character. Lena rummaged in the drawer of a mahogany dresser scarred by dings and knocks, rubbed smooth with time and polish. Kara tried not to stare at the plush cream duvet on the bed, and wonder what it felt like to be under it, or to peel it back and see what kind of sheets Lena used.

“Here,” Lena said, thrusting an oversized sweater and lounge pants at her. Kara accepted them wordlessly. “You’re a little taller than me, but these should fit. The bathroom is there. I keep a spare brush in the cabinet. Cloths and towels are under the sink.”

“Thank you.” Kara had to force herself to not superspeed through getting ready for bed. Her nerves jangled, and tension corded down her neck and across her shoulders at the next question she knew she would have to ask. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, or what that answer could mean for them.

When she’d taken a reasonable amount of time, Kara exited the bathroom and nearly swallowed her tongue at the sight of Lena’s bare back as she tugged her night shirt into place.

“Um,” Kara mumbled, announcing her presence. Lena’s head turned, but didn’t seem abashed at having been caught half naked. “Should I… I can take the couch? Or...”

Lena turned, meeting her eyes briefly before pulling the duvet back and turning down the sheets. “We’re both adults, aren’t we?” The sheets were cream too, and seemed to shimmer in the warm glow of the bedside lamps. It was clear which side Lena preferred-- one bedside table was bare save the lamp, and the other sported an alarm clock, a phone charger, and three different books stacked on the far corner. One of them was in French.

“Yeah,” Kara agreed. Adults. Kara climbed into bed while Lena took her turn in the bathroom. Kara tried to cover her nerves by scrolling through her own work emails-- only three, compared to the dozen Lena had read and responded to while waiting outside of L-Corp. It meant she wasn’t waiting awkwardly when Lena re-emerged, barefaced and shiny for the short moment before she turned the bathroom light off. In the bedroom light alone she looked almost golden, her hair dark against her shirt as she climbed into bed next to Kara.

They’d slept together in Kara’s bed, both after sex and without. After Kara sat her phone aside she instinctively turned over to cuddle up to Lena-- only to be faced with the back of hunched shoulders before Lena turned out her light. Kara followed suit, plunging them into the dark. Kara could still see perfectly fine, and as she settled in against the mattress she watched Lena tuck the sheet under her arm, pulling a bit out in front to bring it up under her chin. She remained on her side, back to Kara, and the same tension keeping Kara rigid under the sheet seemed to grip Lena as well.

Why was she here? Lena had said she didn’t want to be alone, but didn’t seem entirely comfortable to have her there either. Was it a test of some kind? Had Kara passed it? Or was the test coming tomorrow, when they continued their talk and Lena decided whether or not what they had could be repaired?

Kara was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she almost didn’t hear the slight hitch in Lena’s breathing almost an hour later. Almost. Kara’s hearing zeroed in on the aberration, and without turning her head she realized Lena’s breaths were almost soundless, only detectable by the congestion that clogged each inhale. Then she heard Lena reach up and scrub at her eyes, and realized that the faint quiver of the sheet was Lena quietly crying.

Guilt crashed down on Kara anew, almost suffocating her where she lay on the mattress. She threw one arm over her eyes, an attempt to keep her own tears from working their way up. _I’m so sorry, Lena_. The words died in her throat. She wasn’t supposed to hear this, wasn’t supposed to witness silent tears. So instead she ground her teeth together and turned over to face the wall, doing her best to tune out the sounds and feign sleep until true slumber finally took her.


	12. Chapter 12

Kara woke the next morning to the sound of a car door slamming down the street. It was the only sound, save the chirp of birds singing outside the far window. The lack of voices calling and cars whizzing by struck Kara as odd, even on the cusp of sleep. It was only when she opened her eyes to the sight of cream colored walls and gauzy curtains that she remembered the night before. Lena had gravitated towards the center of the bed during the night, and now lay on her back with her head turned towards Kara. Kara barely breathed, unwilling to stir the picture-perfect scene.

The wide windows caught the morning light, and the curtains seemed to gather it all and spill it across the room until every inch of the room glowed like a scene from a movie. And Lena… In sleep her features were relaxed and unguarded, and she was still gorgeous, but seemed entirely unfamiliar. Amid the books and imperfect furniture, with a tidy laundry hamper stood in one corner and her toothbrush on the bathroom counter, the warm light brought a gentler Lena to the surface. Here, Lena wasn’t a larger-than-life CEO. Here, Lena was just a person. Just Lena.

Without thinking, Kara reached out to brush the backs of her fingers against Lena’s cheek. Her skin felt so soft, and when Lena turned her head into the touch Kara couldn’t help but smile. Green eyes blinked open, bleary at first then widening briefly before she recognized Kara.

“Good morning,” Kara whispered softly.

Little by little, the peace of sleep was replaced by a solemn downturn of Lena’s lips. When she saw it, Kara half-expected her guarded mask to slip back into place, but when it didn’t-- she almost wished it had. In its place lived a deep, abiding sadness that dulled Lena’s gaze and left Kara floundering.

Without a word Lena sat upright, sliding across the mattress until her legs draped over the side of the bed. She didn’t stand, but stayed there, gripping the edge of the mattress with one hand while the other scrubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Somehow, Lena looked more exhausted than the night before, and with a jolt Kara realized that whatever special gift she had, whatever magic in her let Lena feel lighter around her, was gone. The truth left her hollow, but she swallowed past it, and focused on Lena.

“You didn’t even mean to tell me,” Lena said finally. “Did you?”

_She notices everything_ , Alex’s voice echoed in Kara’s ear. Her heart clenched painfully. She couldn't deny it, though, and after a moment she realized Lena wasn't looking for an answer.

“You are the one person in this city whose trust I’ve never doubted,” Lena continued. “The one person who I don’t feel the need to defend myself to. To lose that…”

“You haven’t,” Kara protested, climbing to her knees and working her way across the sheets. She stopped just shy of contact. “Lena, you haven’t.”

Lena shook her head dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve been trying to figure out why I let something so small tear me up, and I don’t…” She paused, pushing her hair away from her face with one hand. “For all that I worry the world will only assume the worst of me… I did the exact same thing. I was so sure I’d done something wrong.”

Lena huffed a mirthless laugh. For a moment, she tilted her head back, eyes closed against the sun. “How can I expect anyone else to give me the benefit of the doubt when I can’t even grant myself the same consideration?”

“Lena…”

“You said before you felt insignificant,” Lena pushed through. “I couldn’t even fathom how you could think that. You’re so loved, Kara. By your friends, your family… And you love so easily in return. You make kindness look as easy as breathing, and you speak your mind with so much passion-- everything about you is so… so _genuine_. I only wish I could be so forthright.”

“You can be.” Kara wormed closer, drawing Lena’s gaze to her for the first time since waking. Kara didn’t flinch at the moisture gathering in her eyes, and instead held her gaze intently. “Start with me. Tell me something, right now. Don’t think about it, just tell me something, anything...”

“I’m tired, Kara.”

Tears spilled free of dark lashes, splashing on pale cheeks to shine in the morning light. “I’m so tired,” Lena said again. “Of doubting and being doubted, of clawing tooth and nail for everything good in my life and being constantly afraid I’m one wrong move away from losing it all. I’m just so, so _tired_.”

Kara watched Lena turn away, bringing one hand up to cover the tears still falling. Hesitantly, she reached out to curl one arm around her waist, and took heart when instead of pulling away, Lena leaned into her. As her mind raced through things to say, Kara kissed the bare skin of Lena’s shoulder, and looped her other arm around Lena’s middle.

“Then come back to bed with me,” she urged softly. Lena wiped her eyes and drew in a ragged breath, turning her head to touch foreheads with Kara. “Come back to bed, and we can figure it out when we wake up.” Lena nodded against her.

Kara reached down to take both of Lena’s hands in hers, slowly crawling backwards on her knees and drawing Lena along with her. Lena came without protest, even when Kara laid back down against rumpled sheets. When Lena laid down next to her, she trembled with exhaustion. Kara pressed her hand against Lena’s side-- present, but not restraining. Lena turned into her, pillowing her head on Kara’s shoulder.

“I missed you,” Lena breathed.

Kara buried her nose in Lena's hair. “I missed you too."

It wasn’t perfect. _They_ weren’t perfect. But it was hope, and a promise that they would still be holding each other together when they woke again.


	13. Chapter 13

Kara stayed with Lena the entire weekend. They talked more, but mostly Lena slept. She doubted Kara had slept nearly as much as she did, but every time she woke Kara was there. Lena even took a half day on Monday to sleep in, and managed to show up to a lunch meeting feeling mostly human again. That T Tuesday, Lena returned to work feeling lighter than she had in months. Things between her and Kara still felt shaky, despite the healing done over the weekend, but it no longer felt like the world was crumbling around her. They were holding fast, and Lena sensed that while it may be slow in coming, they’d get back to where they were before.

Halfway through a quiet morning, her assistant entered with a soft knock. Lena looked up with a furrowed brow. “What is it Jess?”

Jess slipped her a small envelope. “This was just delivered for you, Miss Luthor.”

Lena recognized Kara’s familiar scrawl across the front, but Jess was gone again before she could ask when Kara had stopped by. Lena worked a finger under the flap to break the seal and withdrew a small square of thick cardstock.

 

_ Lena, _

_ It may not be normal for my girlfriend to spend time alone with my ex, but I'm okay with it if you are. _

_ Love, _

_ Kara _

 

Lena checked the back of the card to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. It was blank, giving her no further clue as to what prompted the message. After a moment, she paged the intercom. “Jess…?”

“I have Mr. James Olsen to meet with you, Miss Luthor,” Jess informed her.

Lena blinked, then couldn’t help but smile. “Show him in, please.”

James entered with a grin and an extra coffee, which Lena accepted graciously before shaking his hand. “Thank you for stopping by,” she told him, offering him a seat in one of the visitor chairs. He settled in comfortably, and didn’t seem to mind that she remained firmly behind her desk. “I confess I wasn’t expecting your visit.”

James nodded. “Kara warned me that would be the case.” He gestured to the cup in her hand. “I took the liberty of getting your order from her. I hope you don’t mind.”

Lena smiled mid-sip. “It’s perfect, thank you.” Silence descended, and Lena broke it with a grimace. “Sorry, I don’t have any talking points prepared.”

“That’s okay,” James returned. “I figured we could just chat. We did that okay at the gala.” He paused. “Wait… did you have talking points for the gala too?”

“Just enough to fill the silence if things went downhill,” Lena covered quickly. “We ended up not needing most of them.” She offered a thin smile. “I just wanted to be sure you didn’t feel out of place.”

James regarded her with warm eyes. “I appreciate it. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

Quiet settled around them once more, but this time it didn’t feel quite so stiff.

“I met with the mayor yesterday about a benefit CatCo is hosting next month,” James followed a moment later. Lena tilted her chin, inviting him to continue. “He’s kind of, umm…” He waggled his fingers. “Handsy.”

Lena barked a laugh. “Yes! He is. I’ve noticed. I always figured it was because I was a woman.” She smirked. “Good to know he’s an equal opportunity kind of hands-on.”

“Yeah, let me tell you, as a guy, when a man touches my elbow, that’s something I notice.”

“You know, I was down at city hall last month about a zoning permit, and he managed to skip right past my elbow…”

“Noooo…” 

“Oh, yes,” Lena confirmed with a grimace. “His secretary was  _ mortified _ . Saved the day by handing over a stack of reports he needed both hands for.” Lena gave him a sly smile. “On my way out I offered her a 60% pay hike to come work for me.”

“No way!”

“She’s the EA for our marketing VP down on twenty,” Lena affirmed. “So far impromptu hiring has been my favorite perk. Hiring someone out of a bad situation, showing them they’ve been recognized, and appreciated... These days it’s about the only gratification I get out of being the boss.”

James’ gaze softened. “Yeah, I can see that. Cat was the same way. Heck, just look at me.” He spread his arms. “I didn’t think I’d ever even want something like this. But now that I’m here… I want to do a good job. And not just as a placeholder for Cat. I want to do my absolute best. I just don’t know how I can when I barely feel like I’m keeping it afloat, you know?”

“I think that’s all it is,” Lena said softly, plucking at the cardboard sleeve around her coffee cup. “You flounder and you fight just to keep your head above water. But then you get better at treading water, the seas calm, and you can start taking the long view, looking for an island in the distance. No one’s going to throw you a rope, no one is going to build you a raft. That’s your job. You build the raft and help others climb on, and you push it towards safe harbor. It might get easier if you have the right people to help you paddle, but you? You never stop swimming. Not once.”

When she was done, Lena chewed her lip, certain James would be smirking at her for waxing poetic. But when she glanced up, his own gaze had turned inward, and looked thoughtful. They both jumped when the intercom beeped, shattering the quiet. “Miss Luthor, your lunch meeting has arrived.”

She’d completely forgotten, and Lena struggled to bring her thoughts back to her schedule. “Just a moment, Jess, I’ll be right out.” She gave James an apologetic wince, but he waved her off.

“My visit was unplanned,” he told her. “Next time I’ll be sure to schedule ahead. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I enjoyed our talk.”

“So did I,” Lena said truthfully. “Thank you for the coffee.”

“My pleasure.” James moved to leave, then paused. “We’ll see you at game night?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

James nodded. “I’ll look forward to seeing you there. Take it easy, Lena.”

“You too.”

Lena watched him leave, then slowly began to collect her materials for her impending meeting. The rest of her day was wall-to-wall meetings, and she wasn’t looking forward to it in the slightest. But to her surprise, she didn’t dread it either. Before she left to join her associate in the conference room Lena paused to type a quick message to Kara.

_ Lena: Thanks for the coffee order. _

_ Kara: You’re welcome. _

_ Kara: I love you. _

Lena took a deep breath, then let her fingers fly over the familiar letters. 

_ Lena: Love you too. _

 


End file.
